Today I decided to write some more about toxic relationships, and I especially mean partner relationships, wife- husband, girlfriend boyfriend. Why?
Well, first of all I got few e-mails asking to point when do I think relationship is toxic, second because we all know at last one person being in such relationship for years, we don’t know how to act, help, what to do about it. Let’s start from determining if relationship is or is not toxic.
If you agree with 3 points from listed 10 points below, the answer is this relationship is toxic. How much toxic- depends on how many points you agree with:
1. Your partner says that your relationship would be perfect if only… (and here comes a list of the things you- not him/her- should change)
2. After an argument he/she says that he/she loves you, but his/her behaviors doesn’t really show it- he/she doesn’t feel bad about argument and doesn’t admit that it was partly his/her fault
3. You feel that your partner disrespects (makes stupid comments or lowers your achievements) you when you are in public, in your common friends company
4. You had to change a lot so that this relationship work and to fit your partners needs/requirements
5. Your partner does and buys you a lot of things but he/she always expect gratitude for it
6. Often checks if you are at work (visits you unexpectedly), checks your text messages, mailbox, facebook account
7. You don’t feel that he respects your options and choices, his/her option or decision is always the right one
8. Your partner doesn’t like your friends and often family. Your partner says that they have negative influence on you. Indeed your friends and/or family doesn’t like your partner to much
9. Your partner often says that without you he/she could have achieved more in their life, be more successful
10. When you have a bad day you admit that your partner is right and you are really that as good as you think. You admit that without your partner you would be able to… do things, achieve things, have family etc
Also, if you agree with more than 5 points you should ask for help. From this state hardly anyone can find a way out herself/himself